Bernkastel's Birthday Party
by AlunaSama
Summary: Suki's Christmas Present. OOC, Random. Beatrice, Maria, Sakutaro and Lambda gather to throw Bernkastel a Birthday Party. What sort of chaos will occur? And remember: Never kick Lambdadelta.


"Happy Birthday Bernkastel!" shouted the members of the Mariage Sociere, before lifting their glasses and having a big drink of wine.

The tea party room was covered in colorful ribbons and filled balloons that didn't reach the ceiling, but sort of hovered a few feet above their heads. A chocolate cake covered in white icing that had a crude drawing of a cat girl, presumably Bernkastel, with a party hat in the middle with blue icing was where the chessboard would be on a normal day. Most importantly, the Birthday girl sat in a decorated chair wearing a party hat that seemed just a little too small.

"You didn't have to throw me a party.." said Bernkastel, sipping on her wine quietly, and meaning it as literally as she could. She hadn't even wanted a party.

"But we wanted to throw you a party, uu uu~!" said Maria, excited as ever, holding Sakutaro's hand with one hand and a wine glass in the other, "If it's your Birthday you have a party! And I wanted to meet another witch!" she added.

"You've got to let loose a little, Bernkastel." said Beatrice, pulling the the wine from her lips like it was the most refreshing drink she'd ever had in her life, "We got your favorite wine and everything."

"I didn't think we'd be on such good terms.." said Bernkastel, not looking Beatrice in the eye.

"I have a good sense of humor, I can handle being a sand castle." said Beatrice, trying not to bring that up, "Besides, you don't really dislike me, riiiiight~?"

"Not really." said Bernkastel, looking down at the cake, "Did you make this?" she asked, changing the subject. Beatrice shook her head.

"Lady Lambdadelta did, she's a little late..." said Beatrice, scanning the room for the, "I could have sworn she was here earlier though, that's why I offered the toast..."

"Uryuu, she's up there!" said Sakutaro honestly, pointing up to the ceiling. Bernkastel, surprised, looked up..and was quickly met with a tackle to the face.

"Happy Birthday, Bernkastel~!" yelled out Lambdadelta, cuddling her roughly, "My my another year older and another you wiser, but you aren't going to escape me this time! I've got a great Birthday Present for you!" Bernkastel was trying to push her off.

"What are you speaking of?!" she asked. Before she knew it, Lambda had hand-cuffed her to the chair.

"It was a very hard present to come by, so I don't want you running away!" said Lambdadelta, crossing her arms and pouting, "However, you can keep those handcuffs as a present too."

Beatrice was trying to restore some order to the party, "Hey, hey. Lets not get too violent in here. Maria and I spend all day doing the decorations..." said Beatrice. Maria nodded.

"Uu uu! We worked really really hard!" she said, shaking her wine a little, "So be careful!"

"Don't lie, you are really curious on what I brought Lady Bernkastel too, aren't you?" asked Lambdadelta, looking at Beatrice with her troll face on. Beatrice sighed...but soon wore her own troll face as well.

"You know what..yesss I am very curious~!" said Beato, jumping on the ends of her feet a little, "Please continue, I want to see! Just be careful for all of the lovely decorations all riiiight?" she said, getting excited.

Maria sighed a bit, "Uu uu..Don't hurt Lady Bernkastel..." she said, a little confused to what Lady Lambdadelta.

"Okay! So! I went through a few Kakera and found..this guy!" said Lambdadelta, dragging in a man with a pompadour hair cut wearing a gray trench coat.

"You brought a human here?!" yelled out Bernkastel, not knowing what was going on. She fought against the hand cuffs, wanting to beat Lambdadelta for this..what did she do to these Handcuffs?!

"Those handcuffs are of 'certain' restrain-ment." said Lambdadela, rubbing her hands together. "You can't escape as easy as you think." she said, giggling. Bernkastel took a deep breathe and relaxed.

"I could escape if I wanted to.." she said, looking away, "Lambda..."

"Don't shorten my name without permission! Tsun~!" stomped Lambdadelta, disappearing and reappearing to a different part of the room, "His it Astley! Hit it!"

"Happy Birthday to yoooou. Happy Birthday to yooooou. Happy Birthday dear Bernkasteeeel...." breathed Rick Astley, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DO YOOOOU!"

Maria clapped, "That's so good! Where did you get such a good singer?!" she asked, looking over to Lambdadelta.

"I found him in some recording Stuido as a Tea boy!" said Lambdadelta, "Rick, sing that song I wrote for you."

"Okay, Lambdadelta! As long as you keep your end of the bargain to make 'certain' I become the most popular singer ever!" said Rick Astley, stretching out.

"Of course, of course, as long as you sing this song, you'll be a huge hit!" said Lambdadelta slyly. Rick Astley took a deep breath and began to sing.

"Never going to give you up, never going to let you down-"

In that moment, Bernkastel froze Rick Astley and made him disappear, "I appreciate that Lambda, I really do, but that's annoying." she said, finally breaking out of the handcuffs, "Is that really all you got for me, a singer?"

Lambdadelta seemed fairly insulted, "I changed the FUTURE to give you this present. Did you know that in the year 2007 playing that song will become a prank?" she yelled, "That took so much work.." she said, feeling insulted.

Maria seemed to understand that the atmosphere of the party was growing bitter, "Bernkastel, can I give you my present for you next?" she asked, looking up at her .

"..Sure, Maria." said Bernkastel, turning in her seat to look more at her. Maria handed her a small red scarf.

"It's for your kitten, it matches Sakutaro's! Uu, uu!" said Maria, clapping a big as Bernkastel fingered the scarf delicately.

Sakutaro smiled and hopped a little bit, "I helped make it to, Uryuu~! So put it on your cat as soon as possible, maybe we can be friends!" hes said. Bernkastel nodded slightly.

"I didn't bring him with me, but, I'll make sure next time..with the scarf.." she said, pocketing the small trinket and turning to Beatrice.

"And I assumed you got me something as well?" she asked, looking her straight in the face, the mood of the party making it possible. Beatrice sighed and looked down at the cake.

"I did, let me go into my room and get it.." she said, going to the door of the tea room leading to her..she looked back at Bernkastel, "You have to play with this outside, okay?"

"Play..?" asked Bernkastel before being tossed a long present wrapped up in blue wrapping paper. Bernkastel unwrapped it.

"..It's a mop.." said Bernkastel, staring at Beatrice like she grew an extra head. It was a long sticked string mop that had some plastic over the stringed part to protect it from damage, and it had 'Mop of Justice' carved into the side.

"Would you have preferred a Broom?" asked Beatrice, sitting down into her seat and smiling, "It's for flying, and a few other tricks."

"I can fly well enough without a mop." said Bernkastel, finding the present to be ridiculous, "What are the other tricks?"

"Lets you play realistic Danmaku games?" suggested Beatrice, "Push the button and it's like playing Touhou for real."

"You got HER that for her Birthday?!" yelled out Lambdadelta, angrily, "But you found about those from ME because I told you I wanted one!" she yelled, stomping her feet.

"If you get one there is a two player option." said Beatrice, sniggering at Lambdadelta's reaction.

"You got me this just to mess with Lambdadelta?" asked Bernkastel. That almost hurt, she thought the gift was heartfelt for some reason. Lambdadelta was still having a tantrum.

"Beatrice! You have endless gold! Give me money so I can get a Justice Mop too!" she yelled.

"Nope." said Beatrice, looking at her her nails, "Well I think since Bernkastel has opened up all of her presents, it's time for us to cut the cake. Maria, would you like to do the honors?"

"Sure! Me and Sakutaro will do it!" said Maria, running over and grabbing a knife from the 'Kitchen', then coming back to cut the cake into slices. Lambdadelta was still mad.

"I got a break through singer and I made the dumb cake for Bernkastel! I should get a chance to have a Danmaku Mop of Justice too!" she said.

"Lambdadelta, you might get one on your Birthday. Or maybe Christmas. How about you stop behaving like a child so we can get this party over with?" asked Bernkastel, weary of it all now, "Or you can go home to have your tantrum."

"I'm just giving respectable demands!" said Lambdadelta, crossing her arms. Bernkastel sighed, kicking her in the shin.

"Behave!" she said, commandingly.

As though that triggered something inside of Lambdadelta that could not be stopped, pee started dripping down of her leg, "Oh no.." said Lambdadelta, backing away carefully.

"..Did Lambdadelta just wet herself, Uryuu~?" asked Sakutaro.

"Uu, uu! Lambda had an accident! Kihihiihi!" said Maria, bullying Lambdadelta slightly, "Sorry! Sorry! We'll take to the bathroom!" said Maria, grabbing Lambdadelta's hand.

"Get away from me! You don't understand wants going to happen!" said Lambdadelta, smacking Maria's hand away..the puddle of pee was growing still, it wasn't stopping. As though someone had left the bathwater running in an endless bathtub the pee started growing into a shallow inch.

"Uryuu!" was Sakutaro, floating up and taking Maria with him, "This is gross!"

"Lambdadelta why can't you stop peeing?!" yelled out Beatrice, grabbing the cake and floating as well. She made a golden boat appear and put the cake inside. Sakutaro and Maria went and stayed close to the floor, the pee ever rising into a yellow lake.

Lambdadelta was sobbing, "I'm trying but I can't! I can't!" she said, covering her face as she began cry. Bernkastel threw her present in and got into the boat.

"What are we doing to do? We'll hit the ceiling..eventually.." said Bernkastel, looking up to the ceiling..it was really high up, but still.

"..Use your present!" said Beatrice, "It's a magic mop, surely it could clean up and ocean of pee!" she said.

"....But if Lambdadelta keeps peeing, it's a moot point.." said Bernkastel, pointing out the obvious. At this point the pee had reached about 8 feet deep, and Lambdadelta was floating like a bouey.

"I think I finished.." she whimpered, looking to Bernkastel to clean up her mess, "Please?" she asked. Bernkastel sighed and unwrapped the string part of the mop, dipping it into the pee. Surprisingly the pee disappeared in a loud sponge like sound, save for a few puddles.

Maria clapped a bit, "Uu, uu! It's all gone! It's all gone!" she said, standing up and getting out of the boat, sure not to step in a puddle. Beatrice took the mop from Bernkastel.

"Our decorations are ruined Maria.." said Beatrice with a sigh, "I'll clean up whats left and you guys can eat the cake."

Bernkastel turned to Lambdadelta, "..How do you have that much pee?"

"I don't know, Bernkastel. I don't know. Happy Birthday!" said Lambdadelta, the peeing making her a lot less grumpy.

After that, Beatrice cleaned up all of the pee, and everyone ate cake. They did, sadly, have to get another bottle of wine because some of Lambda's pee got inside. The End.


End file.
